The Random Party of Randomness
by envious-black-rose-19
Summary: This is my first story and i suck at summaries but here goes takes deep breath I grew bored in Alg. II and decided to throw a party and everyone from FMA is invited and this takes place at my school. Chapter five is up!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** The Random Party of Randomness

**Author:** envious-black-rose-19

Hi everyone! okay, so this is my first fic that I'm posting so please read and review! gives everyone puppy dog eyes Diana: awww! you look so kawaii! glomps envious-black-rose-19 Gracy: rolls eyes

**Disclaimer:** I, like everyone else, do not own FMA, unless you are Hiromu Arakawa.

**- Chapter One: Boredom**

**envious-black-rose-19:** hello everyone, okay because I'm in Algebra II being bored as hell learning about factoring, I decided to throw a party for… something.

**Ed:** walks in looking confused; looks at paper I am in the right place, right? Room 403, Building B, Apex High School, Laura Duncan road.

**Everyone in my Alg. II class:** WTF?

**envious-black-rose-19:** hello. stands up so you got the invitation, Fullmetal Pipsqueak.

**Ed:** WHOAREYOUCALLINGSMALLERTHAN stops mid-rant wait, am I taller than you? compares height I am smirks

**envious-black-rose-19:** glares I am not short! looks around, trying to distract Ed from the fact that he found someone his own age shorter than him I wonder when the others will get here.

**Random kid in class:** how did he get here so fast? You only decided to have the party about looks at clock three minutes ago.

**envious-black-rose 19:** smirks and twirls hair I have my ways.

**Everyone in Alg. II:** O.o okay, I am confused.

**Gracy:** you guys are always confused. You're all in a perpetual box of confusion.

**Everyone in class & Ed:** WTF? Who are you?

**envious-black-rose-19:** this is my friend, Gracy.

**Gracy:** so what do you have at this party?

**envious-black-rose-19:** karaoke, dunking booth, bobbing for money-

**another random student:** isn't it bobbing for _apples_?

**Yet another random student:** Ewww! That isn't very hygienic.

**envious-black-rose-19:** shut up. Who are you anyway?

**Yet another random student:** Stacy, we've been in the same Alg. II class for two months.

**envious-black-rose-19:** to Ed & Gracy that doesn't mean that I found it important enough to memorize her name.

**Ed:** so just whom did you invite?

**envious-black-rose-19:** waves hand dismissively oh, you know… the homunculi, the colonel, Riza, Havoc, Falman, Breda, Fuery, the Tringham brothers mutters under breath and others.

**Ed:** pales the- the homunculi? Envy? And the Colonel?

**Gracy:** That's what she said, Blondie. Can't we start already?

**envious-black-rose-19:** no, we need more than the three of us and _them_ points to her classmates

**Classmates:** Why not?

**envious-black-rose-19:** What? It's not like you'll be here long- unless the reviewers want you guys to stay.

**Gracy:** you invited Diana, right?

**envious-black-rose-19:** yes

**Gracy:** damn- that girl is _slow_. I came from the other side of the school- she is only 15 yards or so away from you.

**envious-black-rose-19:** you're right. looks at Ed Edo- go get Diana from Mrs. Mata's Spanish class in building C, because I don't know where it is.

**Ed:** Why me? Wait, I don't even _go_ to this school! If _you_ don't know where the class is how should _I_?

**envious-black-rose-19 & Gracy:** just get her!

**Ed:** gulp O-okay runs out of classroom five minutes later (Ed got a little lost) a high pitched fan girl squeal is heard around the school One minute later Ed & Diana enter the classroom, Ed is rubbing his ear

**Diana:** hello! Sorry I couldn't come sooner. I had to take a Spanish test.

**Gracy:** sarcastically could you have screamed any louder?

**envious-black-rose-19:** first of all- that was a fangirly squeal and second- yes, she could have.

**Diana:** If Ed is here than is Roy coming, too?

**Everyone:** ignores Diana

**Gracy:** Now every be a good boy or girl and review or I am locking you all in the perpetual box of confusion and you don't get candy holds up bag of candy

**envious-black-rose-19:** anyone that reviews will get candy. Also, let me know if you have any requests for people to show up and ideas for truth or dare (chapter three) or what we should do. Thanx!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, again! wow, people reviewed yay! This makes me feel special, i wasn't sure if anyone would actually read it. And candy goes to 9-Volt Alchemist, Kunmisukeyu, and TankHunter for reviewing. Also, TankHunter, if you are reading this, I'm sorry that you didn't like it, I promise my other stories won't have me and my friends in them (unless it's for the disclaimer).

Last night I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, I love that movie! Only got two hours of sleep, which is less than most of my friends who went with me did.

**Disclaimer: **Unless you see four sugar-high high school girls running around glomping Wrath, Havoc, Roy, Fuery, Ed, Envy, or Hughes, the story taking place at a school I do not own. Also if you do not see Ed and Envy together and not glaring at each other or trying to kill the other, I do not own.

**

* * *

Chapter Two: The Party Begins... sorta? **

**Diana: **/singing & jumping up and down/ Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy /spins around/ Yay! Roy's coming!

**Gracy: **Someone. Make. Her. Stop. /turns to Ed & envious-black-rose-19/ Fix. It!

**envious-black-rose-19: **/smiles at Diana/ Come on Gracy, she's happy.

**Gracy: **/eye twitches/

**Ed:** I'm scared of her.

**envious-black-rose-19: **/laughs/ Most people are. /sighs, and walks over to Diana, puts her hands on Diana's sholders/ If you don't calm down I will either send you back to Spanish, uninvite Roy, or ignore you.

**Diana: **/calms down, looks sad/

**envious-black-rose-19: **/hugs Diana/ You know that I wouldn't do that... unless I was really pissed off and annoyed. It's just that you were scaring people. /points to Ed & classmates/

**Ed & classmates: **/cowering in a corner/

**Diana: **Oh, sorry Ed! Gomen.

**Classmates: **what about us?

**Diana: **I don't even know you people... well, I know Mike and Montana, but that's it.

**Gracy: **I have a headache.

**envious-black-rose-19: **When Vikki gets here you can have some Advil or asprin.

**Gracy: **I have some in my purse. I'm just too lazy to get it out.

**envious-black-rose-19 & Diana: **/hands go to forhead/

**Diana: **Gracy!

**Jamie: **/jumps into the room, arms spread out in a big, dramatic pose/ I'm here and free of Mrs. Brancazio and geometry!

**Gracy: **Though most people would ask if stepping into an Algebra II class is any better, but I guess, considering the circumstances...

**Jamie: **/nods/ yea, considering the circumstances. Which would you prefer: being bored to death learning about proofsor going to a party. Oh, wait, we're at school so it would be a 'learning experience.'

**envious-black-rose-19 & Diana: **/run and glomp Jamie/

**envious-black-rose-19: **If it isn't my fav. color guard person... besides Erica.

**Jamie: **/acting hurt/ You mean I'm not your favorite guard person, gee, thanks. /smiles/ That's okay! So.. who's coming?

**Diana: **Roy's coming!

**Gracy: **Who told her anyway? I thought we ignored her.

**envious-black-rose-19: **/laughs nervously/ um... well /speaks very softly/ I did after the 1st chapter.

**Gracy: **What? I didn't hear you.

**envious-black-rose-19: **I swear it wasn't me!

**Gracy: **I never said it _was _you.

**envious-black-rose-19: **/glances around the room frantically; points to Ed/ It was Ed! Ed did it!

**Ed: **/head snaps up when he heard his name/ Whatever it is- I didn't do it/to Jamie/ what did I 'supposedly' do?

**Jamie: **envious-black-rose-19 is saying you told Diana aobut Roy coming.

**Ed: **/eyes widen, raises hands, and shakes head/ Oh, no I did not! That was all envious-black-rose-19! All her!

**envious-black-rose-19: **Gee, Ed, thanks for sticking up for me.

**Gracy: **/turns to envious-black-rose-19/ I thought you said you _didn't _do it! So it was all _your_ fault Diana was jumping up and down.

**envious-black-rose-19: **I'm small, cute and I have really big eyes, please don't hurt me.

**Diana: **/glomps envious-black-rose-19/ aww! You look so cute.

**Jamie: **/to Gracy/ You do know that if you hurt/kill envious-black-rose-19, I'll have to kill you.

**Gracy: **/sulks/ I feel unloved. Everyone's ganging up on me and protecting _her_.

**envious-black-rose-19: **Actually- not everyone is 'ganging up on you' and protecting me. Ed and the people in my class aren't.

**Gracy: **/rolls eyes/ Fine, if you want to get technical...and I almost forgot they were here.

**Jamie: **Wow, nice going Gracy, way to make people feel loved.

**Gracy: **I know, isn't it. /looks at Ed & Alg. II students/

**Ed: **/staring at envious-black-rose-19's 'Rational expressions' work-notesheet/

**Classmates: **/asleep/ (A/N: again, this is my first period class which starts around 7:25 and ends at 8:55. There's this one kid who always sleeps and I think that the guy who sits behind me skips just so he can get more sleep)

**envious-black-rose-19: **/walks over to Ed/ Do you want to start the party now or stare at my math work?

**Ed: **/looks at envious-black-rose-19/ Start... do I _want _this party to start?

**envious-black-rose-19: **What? Don't you trust me to- /interupted by the door being thrown open/

**Wrath: **Did I get here before Envy/looks around/ Did I? Did I?

**Jamie: **SQUEEE! He's so cute!

**Diana: **/glomps Wrath/

**Wrath: **/sweatdrop/

**Ed: **If she holds him any tighter, he'll suffocate.

**envious-black-rose-19: **/walks to Diana, pulls out crowbar, and prys her away from Wrath/ Wrath, what do you want to do?

**Wrath: **ummm... uh... How about truth or dare untill more people come?

**envious-black-rose-19: **Okay! Ed, Gracy, Jamie, and Diana c'mere.

**Classmates: **What about us!

**Wrath: **Who are they?

**Gracy: **They're not inportant.

**envious-black-rose-19: **They're a figment of our imaginations, if we ignore them they'll leave.

**Wrath: **oh, okay. Everyone, please review and send any suggestions for truth or dare, otherwise all of envious-black-rose-19's special friends will come up with something not suitable for a teen rated fic.

**All of envious-black-rose-19's 'special' friends: **Hey! What's that supposed to mean?

**Wrath: **It means that we want this fic to remain teen rated right now, so deal!

* * *

**A/N**/sighs/ ugh, wow, I can't believe I typed that in 30 minutes. Please review, I would love you forever! Flames will be used to keep me warm since my mom and stepfather don't want to use the heat and I am freezing, also to set my school on fire (it needs to be rebuilt in my opinion) 


	3. Chapter 3

Yay! Chapter three is up! I don't know about this chapter, but my friends seemed to like it so I hope you like it too. Thank you to _Diana A. Flacon, Potter Evans Lily,_ and _Aztec Goddess_ for reviewing. Wow, two chapters and I have eight reviews, never thought I would get that many.

Disclaimer: The only things of FMA that I own are 6 DVDs, 2 manga, 15 cards I bought at Hot Topic, 2 keychains, and some pictures my friends drew for me. I don't own 'devices' the credit for that goes to my wonderful senior friend, Meg-chan. I also don't own the demented mistletoe, that belongs to the authors of The Shoebox Project.

Slight mention of EnvyEd.

* * *

**Chapter three: Truth or Dare?**

_The classroom is empty except for Rosie, Diana, Gracy, Jamie, Wrath, and Ed. Everyone else left to go on a 'field trip' a.k.a Wrath and the others made them buy food and Rosie made them buy kerosene and a couple hundred lighters. Envy is standing just outside the door and no one notices him._

**Wrath:** /sitting on overhead/ Ed, truth or dare? Do you like Envy?

**Ed:** /blushes/ What? I don- what do you me-… Hey, aren't I supposed to pick which one?

**Jamie:** Yes, you are, but are you sure you would want to take a dare from Wrath?

**Rosie:** Jamie has a point. So… back to the question at hand…

**Diana:** Do you like Envy/stares at Ed/

**Ed:** Stop looking at me! Why does it matter? Why would you guys care if I like Envy or not? And I don't like him!

**Gracy:** /in an annoying singsong voice/ Someone's in denial!

**Ed:** No I am NOT! Why would I care about that psychotic gender-confused freak!

**Envy:** 'Psychotic Gender-confused freak?' Now, O'chibi-chan, don't you think that's a bit harsh? I'm not gender-confused.

**Ed:** /jumps/

**Rosie & Diana: **/squeal and run towards Envy/

**Rosie:** /glomps Envy and pulls him to one side/

**Diana:** /runs out the door/

**Envy:** /sweatdrop/ Hey, Rosie, can you let me go now?

**Gracy:** /rolls eyes/ Rosie, let go of Envy.

**Jamie & Wrath:** What happened to Diana?

**Rosie:** I don't know. /still holding Envy/ I don't think she hit the wall.

**Envy:** You know, I think I saw a certain stuck-up flame colonel and Hawkeye on my way here.

**Everyone:** Oh. /stuff fingers in ears/

**Jamie:** So now all we have to do is wait for /interrupted by a fan girl squeal heard around the world/

**Envy:** Oww!

**Ed:** She did that when she saw me, only not as loud.

**Wrath:** I think I heard her on my way here.

**Gracy:** Is Jean coming?

**Jamie:** That was random, Gracy. Who cares? They weren't even talking about Havoc, they were talking about Diana and her fangirly squeal of doom.

**Rosie:** That's nice. Now, can we please get back to the game?

**Gracy:** Sure, but first things first: Is Jean coming?

**Rosie:** /smirks/ You did bring your flute, right?

**Gracy:** Yes, what's that got to do with anything?

**Rosie:** Well, go get the flute and you'll have Havoc.

**Ed, Wrath, & Envy:** O.o

**Gracy:** /evil glare/

**Ed:** I'm lost

**Wrath & Envy:** /nod/

**Rosie:** /laughs/ Sorry. Gracy and I play the flute in band and Diana plays the trombone. I randomly decided to name my flute Fuery, Gracy named hers Havoc, and Diana's trombone is named Roy.

**Ed, Wrath, and Envy:** /blink, blink/

**Jamie:** Special people.

**Diana:** /runs into classroom holding Roy's hand/ Hello/has really big smile/ It's Roy!

**Gracy:** /palm to forehead/

**Rosie:** /glomps Envy again/ So I noticed.

**Envy:** /mutters under breath/ Why do you keep glomping me?

**Rosie:** /whispers/ 1) because it might make Ed admit he likes you by getting jealous, and 2) because I can.

**Envy:** /sweatdrop/

**Riza:** What are we doing?

**Jamie:** Well, we were playing truth or dare… but it kinda died because no one gave Rosie suggestions and she sucks at truth or dare, as the readers have no doubt figured out by now.

**Riza:** Then why did she write anything with truth or dare?

**Rosie:** Because Wrath suggested it. Anyway, I'm better now, my friend/ stand partner in band gave me ideas but I had to pay her $5 for the list since she kept forgetting. So… Let's continue!

**Class & Teacher:** /return, each with three bags of food or drink and a box of 50 lighters each/

**Envy:** Who are they?

**Wrath:** Unimportant figments of our imagination that will go away when ignored.

**Gracy:** /smiles/ Thank you, guys. Just set the bags here and the lighters there. /waits until everything is 'organized'/ Okay, we have a room for you to go while we use this one. ?evils smirk/

**Class:** Where are we going?

**Gracy:** Mrs. Brancazio's room, and She will teach you guys proofs. Lots and lots of proofs and essay proofs. /drags class with her/ (A/N: Gracy has no idea what those are because she hasn't taken geometry. I would try to help her, but I'm better in Algebra II)

**Class:** NOOOOO!

**Rosie, Diana, & Jamie:** /shudder/

**Envy, Roy, & Riza:** What's wrong?

**Rosie:** Gracy is leading them to the perpetual box of confusion a.k.a Mrs. Brancazio's room.

**Roy:** What's wrong with this Mrs. Brancazio?

**Rosie:** She can't teach to save her life. Correction, she taught me how to hate geometry and how not to teach. /grabs a dry erase marker and writes a truth table on the board; mimics Mrs. Brancazio/ Okay, so this is the answer to number five… No. Wait. /erases and puts up new table/ no, that's wrong /does this five more times/ okay; the first one I wrote was the answer.

**Jamie: **She is evil! The class avg. is a 65 or lower!

**Gracy: **/comes back/ Roy, truth or dare?

**Roy: **truth.

**Gracy: **Do you cry when-

**Roy: **No.

**Gracy: **I didn't finish.

**Roy: **I don't cry.

**Riza: **You don't?

**Roy: **No.

**Jean: **/magically appears/ What about that time when we watched- /Roy silences him by putting his hand over Jean's mouth/

**Riza: **/cocks gun and holds it to Roy's head/

**Roy: **/freezes/

**Riza: **The truth.

**Roy: **I cry when Bailey died The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. There, ya happy now?

**Ed: **/smirks/

**Diana: **So do I/tries to think of something happy so she doesn't cry/ I like cross dressers!

**Wrath: **/edges away/

**Gracy: **You mean like Envy?

**Envy: **Hey! I'm not a cross dresser!

**Gracy: **Really?

**Rosie: **/hits Gracy/ He's not a cross dresser!

**Gracy: **How do you know Rosie?

**Rosie: **Because I saw his purple boxers.

**Jean: **He can wear boxers under that?

**Envy: **/to Rosie/ How do you know what boxers I was wearing, if any?

**Rosie: **/nervous laughter/ um… Devices, devices, devices… I KNOW EVERYTHING! FA LA LA LA! DO AS I SAW OR I'LL HAVE YOUR LEGS OFF!

**Jamie & Gracy: **/laughing/ Demented mistletoe!

**FMA characters: **O.o WTF?

**Diana: **It's from this HP Fanfic called The Shoebox Project.

**Rosie: **It's like crack for HP Siri/Remi fangirls.

**Wrath: **Really?

**Rosie: **Mum, Meg-chan, and Gracy are scary with Shoebox.

**Jean: **I don't really like playing truth or dare.

**Gracy: **Then we won't play.

**Wrath: **/pouts/

**Roy: **I don't want to play either.

**Jamie: **Just 'cause we know you cry when Bailey dies

**Diana: **But it's up to Rosie if we stop or not.

**Ed: **Why?

**Diana: **Because she's the authoress and can do whatever she likes.

**Rosie: **Yup!

**Diana: **It's fun!

**Ed: **No it's not! Not for me!

**Diana: **Tough luck, chibi!

**Rosie & Ed: **I'm not a chibi!

**Jamie: **Wow. Rosie, Diana wasn't talking about you.

**Rosie: **Yes, but she called Ed chibi and I'm shorter than Ed so that makes me a chibi.

**Roy: **Didn't you just say you weren't a chibi?

**Rosie:** /glare/ Shut up, you mini-skirt obsessed freak!

**Rosie & Roy: **/start insulting each other/

**Riza: **2nd Lt. Havoc stop smoking.

**Jean: **Why?

**Riza: **The sign outside the school says this is a drug free zone.

**Jamie: **That doesn't mean anything. But Riza does have a point; you might get Rosie in trouble.

**Diana: **/throws water at Jean's face/

**Jean: **/throws away drenched cigarette/

**Envy: **Since Rosie is busy insulting the Colonel, I'll say it: Read and Review.

**Jamie: **Give her suggestions or tell her what you want to see.

**Gracy: **Flames will be laughed at by me.

**Rosie: **That's passive voice, or what ever McIntyre called it. It should be 'I will laugh at flames'… and the Flame Colonel

**Diana: **Sorry, she has 30-45 minutes of grammar every day.

**Jamie: **It's painful (I'm in her English class).

**Gracy: **And she doesn't need flames to keep her warm because I gave her a heater.

**Rosie: **It broke.

**Gracy: **Damn! I spent $2 on it.

**Diana: **/glare/

**Gracy: **Never mind!

**Roy: **What's next?

**Wrath: **Wait and find out!

* * *

To anyone who cares: Sorry for the wait. 


	4. Chapter 4

Yea, I know that I posted only three days ago but I wanted to give you guys a Christmas present (or present for whatever you celebrate). I hope you like it, this is the longest chapter I've written so far, and they just keep getting longer. I'm sorry if there are a lot of mistakes, I couldn't get Gracy to Beta it and I'm really tired. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own FMA or demented mistletoe. They belong to the talented Hiromu Arakawa and the brilliant authors of The Shoebox Project. And Diana helped me come up with the title for the chapter, Jamie helped (in a sense), and Gracy helped with gift ideas.

EnvyEd… in a sense.

Chapter Four: Secret Santa FMA Style

* * *

**Gracy:** /singing/ Deck the halls /joined by Jamie, Diana, and Rosie/ with kerosene, fa la la la la la la la la! Light a match and watch it gleam, fa la la la la la la la la! See the blazing hells before us, fa la la la la la la la ohhh! Strike a match and burn the chorus, fa la la la la la la la BOOM! 

**Diana:** TM

**Jamie:** R

**Rosie:** C

**Gracy:** What's R mean?

**Jay-jay:** /randomly appears/ I think it's reserved rights. /disappears/

**Everyone else:** O.o Who was that?

**Rosie:** My very special stepsister.

**Everyone else:** WTF? What was that song?

**Diana:** It's our Christmas carol.

**Gracy:** We- being Rosie; Diana's sister, Satsu; Shika; and I- perfected what my cousin and I started.

**Rosie:** Yea, and it used to be 'See the blazing home before us' but Shika changed it or heard it wrong.

**Gracy:** Wouldn't surprise me, we were in gym class.

**Jamie:** I'm bored…

**Roy:** Let's do Secret Santa.

**Wrath:** Presents!

**Envy:** What?

**Riza:** We draw someone's name out of a bag, don't tell anyone who it is, and buy him or her something.

**Envy:** That it?

**Ed:** And you have to give the gift to whomever you picked.

**Envy:** oh…

**Wrath:** Who has paper and a pen?

**Diana & Rosie:** I do/pull out pen and paper/

**Everyone:** /blink, blink/

**Crickets:** chirp chirp.

**Gracy:** /grabs Rosie's pen and Diana's notebook/ Okay… Who has neat handwriting?

**Rosie:** I have the neatest handwriting of the Murderers. ((A/N: The Murderers is an idea that Gracy had (never leave her alone with her brain; scary things happen). The Murderers are sisters of the Marauders and they consist of Gracy, Jamie, Diana, and me.))

**Envy:** Wrath's is the neatest of the homunculi.

**Jean:** Riza has the neatest of everyone else.

**Jamie:** How neat is Wrath's handwriting?

**Envy:** Not as neat as Riza's but close, and not as curly.

**Riza:** It doesn't matter.

**Roy:** Why?

**Riza:** Because Rosie is already writing down names.

**Gracy:** Nice, Rosie. Have you ever heard of patience?

**Rosie:** What's patience? What is this foreign word you speak of?

**Diana:** Never mind.

**Rosie:** Who has a hat?

**Everyone:** /looks around and shakes head/

**Rosie:** Well, let's see: we could put it in my book bag, steal a hat from the uniform room, or Ed could transmute a hat.

**Ed:** Why not Roy?

**Rosie:** Because he would set things on fire.

**Ed:** Let's use your book bag then.

**Diana:** Here ya go. /throws it to Ed/

**Rosie:** Okay. /begins pulling things out and is finished two seconds later (ed is still holding the bag)/

**Gracy:** Wow, it would take me forever to empty my bag.

**Rosie:** I win!

**Jean:** Do you even have all you need for school?

**Rosie:** Yea! Alg. II workbook, Spanish I workbook, band folder and my binder is everything. And, unlike Gracy's, it weighs less than 10 lbs.!

**Gracy:** I know. My bag eats things.

**Riza:** /puts names in bag and takes it away from Ed/ Okay, let's draw the names-

**Roy:** From shortest to tallest.

**Ed, Wrath, Rosie, & Jamie:** Hey!

**Jean:** Deal with it.

**Wrath:** /pulls out name and looks at it, evil smirk/

**Jamie:** /pulls out name, looks at it and laughs/

**Rosie:** /pulls out name and looks at it/ Yes!

**Ed:** /pulls out name and looks at it/ Not her!

**Envy:** /pulls out name and looks at it/ This'll be fun/smirks/

**Gracy:** /pulls out name, looks at it, puts it back, pulls out name, looks at it, puts it back, pulls out name, looks at it, puts it back/ I kept getting my name.

**Jamie:** /looks at her paper, mutters/ Liar.

**Gracy:** /pulls out name and looks at it and keeps it/

**Diana:** /pulls out name and looks at it/

**Riza:** /pulls out name and looks at it/

**Roy:** /pulls out name and looks at it/

**Jean:** /pulls out name and looks at it/ What am I supposed to get him?

**Rosie:** Oi, Envy!

**Envy:** What?

**Rosie:** Come here.

**Gracy:** What are you doing, Rosie?

**Rosie:** I'm going to ask him some questions.

**Gracy:** Whatever. /starts looking through the bags the class brought earlier/

**Jean:** /pacing room/ What do I get him?

**Riza:** Rosie, come here for a second.

**Rosie:** yes.

**Riza:** Where's the nearest drug store?

**Rosie:** Umm… /draws a map/ here. /points to blue dot/

**Riza:** Thank you. /leaves/

**Rosie:** /grabs Envy and goes in the hallway/ You don't have my name, right?

**Envy:** No.

**Rosie:** Who do you have?

**Envy:** The flame bastard.

**Rosie:** I have Ed. I have and idea of what to give him… I just need your help.

**Envy:** fine, you can help me with Roy.

**Rosie:** The Flame Alchemist /starts skipping down the halls/ Hey, how about this. /points to something on the wall/

**Envy:** /smirks/ that's perfect!

* * *

**Wrath:** Diana! 

**Diana:** Yes Wrath.

**Wrath:** What should I get Rosie?

**Gracy:** I know what you should give her. /hands him a gift bag/

**Diana:** /goes to some random plant store/

**Jean:** Gracy.

**Gracy:** Yeah.

**Jean:** What should I get him/shows Gracy paper/

**Gracy:** I don't know, he's a kid and… I don't know.

(**A/n:** OMFG my stepsister has got Mellow Yellow in her eye.)

**Jean:** /thinks/ I think I've got it/goes to the textiles classroom/

**Roy:** /sleeping in a corner/

* * *

**Ed:** /wanders into band room/ 

**Mrs. Clayton:** What are you doing?

**Ed:** Ummmm… Mrs. Jones sent me to get.

**Mrs. Clayton:** Oh. What did she want?

/A violinist falls asleep and two viola's poke each other with the bows/

**Mrs. Clayton:** Stop hitting each other!

**Ed:** /slips into uniform room, looks around for something/ um, what's this? Marching band uniforms /reads names/ Laurette Goodwin, no, Laurette Wilson, Marleen Warrior /falls and gets eaten by the uniform bags, reappears two hours later/ okay, wow! Soda! More sugar/backs up and knocks over some hat boxes/ Ouch/jumps up/ That does it! I hate this room! I'll just get something from that brown circular thing and give it to her.

* * *

**Jamie:** /goes on the slow school computer/ Ohhh! I'll get her that and that. /prints something out and orders something else/

* * *

**Dumbledore:** So you want to borrow some mistletoe? 

**Gracy:** Yay! Demented mistletoe!

**Dumbledore:** /smiles with the whole twinkle in his eyes that he's always described with/ (A/N: spoiler for Half-Blood Prince OMFG, he came back to life!)

* * *

Six hours later 

**Rosie:** Okay! I want to go first/winks at Gracy who is holding something behind her back/ Ed, here you go/hands a small box to Ed/

**Ed:** um… thanks. /opens box and sees a small black kitten with purple eyes/ um…

**Gracy:** /holds stick with mistletoe over Ed and the cat, who has changed to Envy/

**Demented Mistletoe:** DECK THE HALLS WITH KEROSENE! FA LA LA LA LA! KISS HIM NOW! (A/N: yet again, I do not own.)

**Ed:** O.O What?

**Envy:** /smirks/ You heard it Ed. We have to kiss.

**Ed:** No way…

**Demented Mistletoe:** IF YOU DON'T THEN THE AUTHORESS'LL…I don't know what she'd do.

**Rosie:** /puppy dog eyes/ For me Ed, please.

**Diana:** /glomps Rosie/ Ed, kiss Envy!

**EnvyEd fans:** Kiss already!

**Envy:** /leans in and kisses Ed/

**Ed:** /struggles, then breaks free/

**Envy:** Chibi…

**Ed:** Umm… /blushes/ This is for you, Jamie/shoves the gift bag in her face/

**Jamie:** Really/opens bag/ OMG!

**Rosie:** What is it?

**Jamie:** A plume/pulls it out/ …from the uniform room…

**Rosie, Diana, & Gracy: **No fair! I want a plume!

**Jamie:** /sticks out tongue/ well too bad!

**Diana:** No fair!

**Rosie:** /twitch/

**Gracy:** Jamie, remember, you can't touch the plume with your bare hands.

**Jamie:** What?

**Rosie:** That's right. Otherwise it'll turn yellow and green.

**Diana:** Then it'll be black, yellow, and green… wait…

**Rosie:** /smirk/ Happy!

**Jean:** What?

**Diana:** We have color codes for anime characters.

**Rosie:** Who's next?

**Diana:** I am/pulls out a palm tree/ For Envy!

**Envy:** /twitch, twitch, twitch/ WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FREACKIN' HAWAIIN PALM TREE!

**Ed:** /blink, blink/ Wow, he sounds like me when certain idiots coughRoycoughRussellcough (four hours later) coughPsirencoughDianacoughGracycough call me short. Umm… guys, did you fall asleep?

**Bell:** BBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!

**Everyone:** /jumps, everyone but Ed is now full awake/

**Riza:** /shoots bell/

**Jamie:** Well, um, so… who already got their presents?

**Ed:** Me.

**Envy:** /glares at Diana/ Me.

**Rosie:** Come on Envy. The palm tree wasn't that bad. I'm sure we could find a use for it.

**Jamie:** /waves plume/ And I've got mine! So who's next?

**Jean:** Why don't you give yours next?

**Jamie:** Okay. /pulls out sparkly purple bag/ For Gracy.

**Gracy:** Pretty. /plays with bag/

**Ed:** Open it!

**Gracy:** /pulls out a pink dress, more specifically a replica for the dress Hermione/Emma Watson wears in GOF/ You gave me the pink pineapple dress /picture falls out of dress/ and a picture of Daniel Radcliff as Harry Potter with blue eyes. They're green! And the dress is supposed to be blue! And they combined strait with fluffy/frilly and it looks like a pineapple. /grabs a green Sharpie and colors in Dan's eyes/ They're green now!

**Rosie: **um… Diana?

**Diana:** /knocks Gracy unconscious/

**Roy:** Finally, some peace and quiet. My turn. This is for you Hawkeye. /hands her a miniature doll replica of herself in the military uniform, wearing a miniskirt/

**Riza:** Colonel, how long have you had this doll?

**Roy:** Umm… that's not relative to-

**Jean:** He's had that since you were placed under his command.

**Riza:** That is as close as you'll ever get to seeing me, or any female officer in the military for that matter, in a miniskirt.

**Diana:** Ouch.

**Roy:** I will become Fuhrer and then

**Everyone else:** /bored monotone voice/ all female officers will be required to wear tiny miniskirts.

**Riza:** Here's your present 2nd Lt. Havoc. /hands him a bag of gum and some patches/

**Diana:** Did she give him birth control patches?

**Everyone else:** O.o

**Gracy:** /wakes up/ Oh yes, Diana, Riza gave Jean birth control because we have to worry about him getting pregnant.

**Diana:** You never know.

**Rosie:** Diana, Havoc is NOT getting pregnant in my fic nor am I writing anymore than a kissing scene between Envy and Ed, got it? If I did, it would be a different fic.

**Everyone:** /blink/

**Diana:** please…

**Wrath:** I want my present now! Please, I've been really good and kept quiet all this time.

**Rosie:** I'm sorry! You really haven't had many lines in this chapter.

**Wrath:** Not really.

**Diana:** Who had Wrath's name?

**Jean: **I did. Here you go kid. /hands Wrath a teal and purple stress ball/

**Gracy:** You bought him a stress ball?

**Jean:** I made it.

**Roy:** Nice.

**Jean:** I thought I was helping. His name's Wrath so I thought he might need help with some stress.

**Wrath:** /throws it in the air a few times, then throws it at Envy's head/

**Envy:** /catches it and starts a game of hot potato in which Ed is the winner of/

**Ed:** Yay! I won/pause/ Now what?

**Riza:** You choose who gets their gift next.

**Ed:** Okay… Who's left?

**Roy:** Diana, Rosie, and I have not gotten our gifts.

**Ed:** I think it's the authoress' turn next.

**Wrath:** Okay/runs to a corner, grabs a bag and runs back, handing it to Rosie/ Here ya go Rosie-san.

**Rosie:** Thank you. /pulls out peach ice cream and Gracy's persuasive speech/ 'Why the HP Books are Better than the Movies.' No, not the speech. So. Much. Grammatical. Errors. Must. Fix. /grabs pen and fixes speech, despite the fate Gracy already turned it in/

**Gracy:** I'm next. /British accent/ Happy Christmas, Diana/gives her a plate of Chips Ahoy cookies and a glass of milk/

**Diana:** /glare/ Grace Chandria Lupin!

**Gracy:** /flinch/ No, no Grace! It's Gracy! Gracy!

**Ed:** I hate milk.

**Wrath:** /eating the cookies/ What's wrong with cookies and milk?

**Diana:** Jamie-

**Jamie:** I didn't do it!

**Diana:** A trombone player I sat next to in 8th grade.

**Roy:** Fascinating. I want my gift now!

**Envy: **/smirk/ Rosie!

**Rosie:** Finished correcting Gracy's horrible grammar.

**Gracy:** Some of those sentences had ten commas. I WIN MESSR. OBBSESSED WITH SMALL DOTS! (That is from Shoebox)

**Rosie:** Yes Envy?

**Gracy:** She ignored me!

**Envy:** Roy's gift.

**Rosie:** /evil smirk/ I'll get it/runs to the girls bathroom, where she hid it earlier/

**Roy:** What is it?

**Jamie: **I've a bad feeling about this.

**Rosie:** /comes back/ Here ya go. /hand gift to Roy/

**Roy:** Yay/tries to unwrap it/

**Diana:** What did you do to it Envy?

**Envy:** I didn't wrap it that was Rosie.

**Roy:** /10 minutes later is holding a…/ A fire extinguisher?

**Everyone else:** /starts laughing/

**Ed:** It's in case you ever loose control of your alchemy.

**Riza:** Let's soak your gloves before you burn all the paper work, claiming that you were picking up after Ed. (A/N: slight reference to a part in Diana's fic A Sin in Girls Clothing. If you like EnvyEd pairings you should read it.)

**Roy:** /glare/ If you don't stop I'll burn you all to a crisp.

**Rosie:** Hip Hip Hooray for me, you talk to me, but would you kill me in my sleep?

**Roy:** What?

**Rosie:** It's a line from the song 'It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Deathwish' by My Chemical Romance.

**Vikki:** /appears/ I want a Christmas gift!

**Diana:** Of course /runs to the bags of food and pulls out a jar of mayonnaise/ Here you go Vik!

**Vikki:** It's cat lard! Animal fat! You'll die of a heart attack! You know I'm anti-mayo!

**Wrath:** Who are you?

**Vikki:** I AM EVERYONE'S NIGHTMARE COME TRUE!

**Wrath:** Really? Cool! I ate Diana's gift. /jumps up and down/

**Vikki:** Awesome! So, what's up h-

**Envy:** We're ending the chapter.

**Diana:** What did I say at the end of the last chappy, Rosie decides.

**Rosie:** I'm ending it now, this took up 11 pages while writing if you count the front and back a two, not to mention, I'm tired. /starts eating the ice cream Wrath gave her/ Eww! This is peach! I hate peach!

**Ed:** Read and Review, you should know the drill by now.

* * *

**Author's Note:** If you were wondering what Havoc got, it was the stuff to help you stop smoking, I can't spell the names of any brands that come to mind right now. Whew! I hope you liked it I worked hard to get it out the 24th. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's notes:** I'm sorry this took so long! I had my exams last week so I had to study for them… don't know if it helped much. I know I screwed up where all the countries are in Spanish, I forgot how to do matrices, and I wrote an essay in English that made sense up until I had to relate the theme to my life. Oh well, I still have two A's and two B's. I wrote this because of Gracy's birthday, which is Jan. 23, just so you know when this chapter takes place. Also, because Gracy is obsessed with Harry Potter, some HP characters appear in this chapter. And if some of this is weird, I wrote this while I was sugar high and while I was sick, which means I had medicine, which means that… I feel very strange right about now.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FMA or HP. Hiromu Arakawa and J.K. Rowling do.

**Chapter five: Gracy's Birthday

* * *

**

**Gracy:** OMG! I'm 17!

**Rosie:** And you're now of age in the wizarding world… if you lived in Harry Potter that is.

**Everyone:** /stares at Gracy/

**Gracy:** I'm 17 with 15-year-old friends.

**Rosie:** Yea, yea, and last year you were complaining about being 16 with 14-year-old friends.

**Wrath:** What happened to the anti-mayo girl?

**Jamie:** She's not here.

**Diana:** /looks around the room/ She's not!

**Gracy:** No, she left around Jan. 4.

**Diana:** Really?

**Jamie:** Yes.

**Ed:** Hey, Rosie!

**Rosie:** Yes, O'chibi?

**Ed:** DON'T CALL ME PIPSQUEAK, SHORTY!

**Rosie:** /twitch, twitch/

**Roy:** Riza, Jean, Ed and I were wondering why we are stuck in this room all the time.

**Jean:** Today is a teacher workday and we're in school!

**Rosie:** Gomen, oh, but we won't stay in this room.

**Riza:** We're not?

**Rosie:** No.

**Ed:** Why?

**Diana:** 1st semester ended on Jan. 13th and Rosie has a new schedule starting tomorrow.

**Envy:** Which is…?

**Rosie:** 1st prd- Spanish II in T12, 2nd prd- Biology in 404, 3rd prd- Civics & Economics in T1, 4th prd- Band II in the band room.

**Gracy:** What's the point in listing the rooms?

**Rosie:** So I know where to move us. Joy! We get to kick out another class!

**Envy:** Are you okay?

**Rosie:** I had sugar!

**Everyone:** /backs away/

**Gracy:** Can I put them in the perpetual box of confusion!

**Wrath:** I want sugar!

**Ed:** No, you'll be bouncing off the walls

**Wrath:** No, I won't.

**Jamie:** Wrath, darling, come over here. /crouches down/

**Wrath:** What/walks over to Jamie/

**Jamie:** The reason we can't give you sugar is because the authoress is… /points to Rosie/

**Rosie:** /jumping up and down while spinning in circles/ Up and down and up and down and up and down! Weee/hits a desk/ Ouch! Weeee! Weeeee!

**Roy:** O.o

**Diana:** Rosie, calm down.

**Rosie:** No!

**Diana:** /hugs Rosie/ calm down.

**Rosie:** /calms down/ Awww!

**Diana:** What room are we going to?

**Rosie:** 1st and 3rd prd is out; we'd have no room when more people arrive.

**Gracy:** Band room?

**Rosie:** We'd get too loud and the drama teachers would yell at us.

**Diana:** But 1st Prd you'd see that bass player you've got a crush on.

**Rosie:** / blushes 17 undiscovered shades of pink & red/

**Jamie:** We'd see Mrs. Copley.

**Rosie:** No!

**Everyone:** /stares at her/

**Rosie:** She hates me! Aannnnyyyyywayyy, I want to do karaoke sometime.

**Gracy:** And you don't want to deal with her criticizing us.

**Rosie:** /mutters/ Just because she's the chorus teacher…

**Roy:** Is she pretty?

**Riza & Diana:** /hit Roy/

**Gracy:** So… the Biology room it is. But 1st…!

**Everyone:** Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Gracy/ Moony jr.! Happy birthday to you!

**Mrs. Copley:** /stands in doorway/ Stick to the chant guys, stick to the chant.

**Jean:** You don't like our singing?

**Mrs. Copley:** No.

**Rosie:** /twitch/

**Gracy:** /glances at Rosie and grabs some water and chips/ Mrs. Copley, follow me please. /walks out of room/

**Mrs. Copley:** /follows/

**Jean:** What's she doing?

**Wrath:** Is she putting her in the perpetual box of confusion?

**Rosie:** Yup!

**Riza: **What was the food for?

**Envy:** Is she feeding the prisoners?

**Roy:** Yes, you have to put food and water in there… make sure they're still alive… somewhat…

**Gracy:** /runs back, collapses/

**Diana:** What's wrong?

**Gracy:** They want to get out, Mrs. Brancazio is teaching them triangles. They had random combinations of A and S using three letters.

**Rosie:** But no angle-side-side theorem, right?

**Jamie:** Because triangles don't have butts.

**Peter Pettigrew:** /walks in room/ I don't get it.

**Roy:** Who are you and do you want to do my paperwork?

**Jamie:** Hey, Wrath, go play with the rat.

**Wrath:** What rat?

**Peter:** /turns into a rat and runs away/

**Jean:** He turned into a rat…

**Gracy:** Yea, he's an animagus.

**Envy:** Animagus?

**Gracy:** They are wizards who elect to turn into animals, unlike a werewolf, who has no choice.

**Rosie:** We don't need the queen of finding weird HP pairings to rant.

**Gracy:** Excuse me! I'm not the one who looked for a Harry/Umbridge pairing!

**Rosie:** Hey! Not my fault! And I didn't look for it- Jayjay found it while looking for Harry/Draco!

**Gracy:** This is also the same girl who got Mellow Yellow in her eye.

**Rosie:** Exactly- don't blame it on me.

**Gracy:** Hey, since it's my birthday… do I get presents?

**Roy:** What? We have to give you presents?

**Envy:** Again? I thought we ended that with Christmas.

**Gracy:** Fine! Be that way! My friends will give me gifts. Right/looks at Rosie, Diana, & Jamie/

**Jamie:** Of course we will……… I think. Hey, does anyone have a present for Gracy that I could give with you?

**Gracy:** /blink/

**Diana:** Um… sure, once I find something it'll be from the both of us. Did you get her something Rosie?

**Rosie:** I gave her a bookmark with Sirius on it and this chapter is her birthday present/smiles and winks at Gracy/

**Gracy:** Ohhh/smiles/ Okay/glomps Rosie/ Thank you!

**Jamie & Diana:** Hey! How come she doesn't have to give you a gift?

**Roy:** No fair! Using your position as authoress to get by on the present.

**Riza:** Sir.

**Roy:** Yes.

**Riza & Jean:** Shut up!

**Wrath:** So what are we gonna do after you open your presents, Gracy?

**Gracy:** I don't know.

**Envy:** /chases Ed across the room/ Aww, one hug, Chibi, that's all I ask!

**Ed:** /running away from Envy/ No!

**Diana:** Rosie, make them hug!

**Rosie:** Umm… /pretending to think about it/ I don't – no.

**Diana:** What do you mean 'you don't know.'

**Rosie:** I never said 'I don't know' I said 'I don't – no.'

**Diana:** What's the difference?

**Envy:** /stops chasing Ed/ The difference is that what she originally said had ' – ' and left off the first and last letter of know.

**Diana:** I still-

**Gracy:** /loudly so Diana & Rosie's 'conversation' is cut off/ Jean, do you like ice-skating?

**Jean:** Yea… why?

**Gracy:** Because we are going ice-skating!

**Diana:** What? You know I'm not good at it.

**Ed:** It's not that hard.

**Rosie:** Now, Diana, just remember: try not to fall, and if/when you do fall try not to have someone skate over your fingers 'cause they might get cut off.

**Jamie:** /sarcastically/ Wow Rosie, don't you just know how to make people feel confident in their abilities.

**Rosie:** Yup! Hey, I'm just warning her so she doesn't get hurt.

**Ed:** By making her scared about trying to skate…?

**Roy:** Why don't we try to find her presents and get this over with?

**Envy:** Okay! Ed and I will look together

**Ed:** We will what?

**Envy:** You heard me/drags Ed out the door/

**Rosie:** Okay! We will meet back here in two hours, 'kay?

**Everyone else:** Sure.

**Everyone except Gracy:** /leaves/

**Gracy:** Now what should I do?

* * *

**2 ½ hours later**

**Gracy:** Took ya guys long enough!

**Roy:** What? We are only half an hour late.

**Gracy:** I'm bored!

**Jean:** /hands Gracy a gift bag/ This is from Roy, Riza, and me.

**Gracy:** Thanks Jean/opens bag/ OMG! It's pretty/holds up a necklace with a dragon pendant/

**Envy & Ed:** This is from us. /Envy hands a heavy box to Gracy/

**Gracy:** What is this? You didn't put a person in here, did you?

**Jamie:** Why would you care?

**Gracy:** Because the box is too small.

**Diana:** So, you could put a person in it. If you cut them up into small pieces-

**Rosie:** OKAY! MOVING ON NOW!

**Gracy:** /opens box/ I so wanted this! I was gonna go to London and buy all seven HP books and get J.K to sign them.

**Riza:** But there are only six books.

**Gracy's happy bubble:** /shrinks/

**Ed:** Now she only has to buy book seven when she goes to London and can bring these with her to get them signed.

**Gracy's happy bubble:** /goes back to original size/

**Wrath:** You forgot about me!

**Rosie:** I'm sorry!

**Wrath:** I helped Envy and Ed pick out the present! They forgot about me!

**Gracy:** Thank you Wrath. /hugs Wrath/

**Jamie:** Rosie helped me get you your gift!

**Diana:** Which gave me an idea, so your gift from me is this. /hands her a video camera/

**Gracy:** A video camera? What did Jamie get me that involves me needing a camera?

**Jamie:** Harry, you can come out now.

**Gracy:** Harry… as in…

**Harry:** Happy Birthday, Gracy.

**Gracy:** OMG! It's Harry Potter/glomps Harry/

**Harry:** Ow!

**Neville: **OMG, she killed Harry Potter!

**Seamus and Dean:** Neville, Who are you talking to? (A/N: inside joke about the fourth HP movie)

**Rosie:** Didn't you warn Harry that she would do that, Jamie?

**Jamie:** …forgot…

**Rosie:** Draco, you can stop hiding now.

**Gracy:** /perks up/ Draco? Where?

**Draco:** She's not going to hurt me, is she?

**Rosie:** She won't.

**Draco:** /slowly walks to Gracy/

**Gracy:** /Runs at Draco and glomps him/

**Draco:** Rosie! You said she wouldn't do that!

**Rosie:** Did I? Oh well, I lied.

**Draco:** I can see that.

**Rosie:** Hey, I'm a flute; it's my job to be a compulsive liar.

**Gracy:** Yay/shoves Harry and Draco into a closet and hides the camera in the closet/ Devices! Devices! Devices!

**Wrath:** Why'd you do that?

**Envy:** I'll tell you when you are older.

**Wrath:** /pouts/

**Gracy:** Let's go ice-skating!

**Ed:** How are we getting there?

**Gracy:** What do you mean?

**Ed:** No one here has a car.

**Roy:** We can walk it won't kill us.

**Rosie:** /mutters/ So… how far is Cary from here?

**Ed:** I don't want to walk!

**Diana:** Ed.

**Ed:** Yes?

**Diana:** You do know we walked to get the presents, 'cause none of us has a car.

**Ed:** …

**Diana:** See! I'm right!

**Jean:** Let's go/drags everyone with him/

* * *

**Some time later at the skating rink**

**Roy:** I don't like it here.

**Riza:** Why?

**Roy:** It's cold!

**Wrath:** Duh! Ice is cold! Everyone knows that.

**Gracy:** Don't you feel stupid now Roy.

**Rosie:** Don't do anything stupid.

**Jean:** I won't.

**Jamie:** Umm… Havoc, you're smoking and your not supposed to.

**Jean:** Opps!

**Roy:** It's soo cold!

**Everyone:** Get over it!

**Roy:** /snaps fingers and melts all the ice/

**Owner of the rink:** /throws us out/

**Ed: **So, now what? Do we go somewhere else?

**Riza:** Roy, you idiot.

**Rosie:** I think I'll end this chapter now.

**Gracy:** Read, Review, and… yeah.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Okay… finished it, wasn't sure if I would. But… yeah. If you wanted to know what was being taped… it can be what ever you want it to be because I'm lazy and tired right now. Bye! 


End file.
